Calendar
2023
October—
Woven in heat, tangled in that box—
the air only recalled as brazen black and orange.
November—
Running labyrinths, hungry halls,
empty classrooms colored that plain, late blue.
December—
Sunroof framing the rain above,
pools of cold and clear form a dome—
those pattering sounds encase us.
February—
Metal tin once peeling with blue—
marked at the highest point of our town,
overlooking that road home.
—— 2024——
2025
January 19th—
Undetected, cutting through static white—
black metal skin sweating,
shearing through dark roads with actual precision.
Sinking feet, and powder-sugared hair.
Orange and cream filled the air.
January 28th—
Blocked buildings, standing at absolute, always rigid.
Window after window—one and the next.
Patterns the passing train makes.
Hollow, clanking songs the railings sing.
Stinging—that standing there.
And the cold knows you’re already bare.
I like the artistic nature of your descriptions — this feels like a poem, the way you piece the words together to form pictures for the reader. I especially like the use of colors and sounds. I only wish the poem as a whole was a little more clear in terms of what you're talking about, because I don't completely get it (but I guess I have to wait and see if other people agree, or if I'm just bad at reading poetry, haha)
ReplyDeleteThis is Professor Miller. Nice job responding to the poetry exercise from the book. Most of these calendar entries make sense to me as entries portraying something memorable that the speaker in the poem encountered at that date mentioned. I like how descriptive this is and how you mostly avoid abstractions and engage my senses as a reader. I especially adore your last line. It's direct and powerful and menacing, and I love it.
ReplyDeleteBut in other places, the poem seems determined to want to confuse me. For example, your first line uses italics for the word "that" which suggests the reader should know what box you are talking about. But how could we?
"November" in contrast is rather direct and is easy to understand. But then in "February" you leave us puzzled by not letting us know what is being described.
Also, why is "black metal skin" (pavement?) "sweating" even though it is January? Wouldn't the idea of "sweat" make more sense in a summer month?
The last line shows you can write beautiful poetry, and I love a mystery, but confusion and mystery are not the same. I think a little more clarity here would bring this more to life.
Your wording sounded great and definitely flowed, but there were a lot of adjectives and I wasn't really sure what was happening in the poem. I do love your descriptions of nature though.
ReplyDeletecool calendar poem! I love all the colors you use: orange and cream, blue, brazen black. I also love your descriptions like "powder sugar hair." I'm wondering if there is an intentional running theme that connects each month's entry or if they are separate.
ReplyDeleteYou write so powerfully. I love the descriptions you use and it's clear that each one is very intentional and means something very specific. I think a lot of people use filler words to make their poems sound more esoteric and fluffy but I think even if I didn't fully understand it, it's clear that each word was filled with intent and a deeper meaning.
ReplyDeleteI do wonder if there was a way to keep the heavy descriptions while also making it more clear to the readers what your poem is signifying.